What have they done for me, huh?

It's pouring rain, I have no umbrella, and I'm late getting back to work. In front of the library, this girl with a clipboard says "Excuse me!" Oh Christ, here we go.

Do you have a minute?
-- Actually, it's raining and I'm late getting back to work.
Aw, come on, get wet with me.
(Yuck.)
-- I can't, really.
Awww, c'mon please?
-- .... fine. Walk with me.
Sure!
[We do not walk... very Waiting for Godot.]
My name is [who cares], and blah blah, spiel, Children's International, 16 cents a day, you can help a baby.
-- No, I don't think so.
Aww, c'mon, it's nothing, don't you want to help babies?

Now that ain't fair. What kind of question is that? "No, of course I don't want to help babies. I want them all to perish because I am evil. Listen to this evil, baby-killing laugh: BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" No. Babies are fine. I just can't do that right now. Why? Well, I'll tell you.

I have $X in my bank account. After I pay my bills this afternoon and get food for myself, i will have X - (what I just spent). Let me grab my calculator... doo-dee-doo, OOOOH single digits YES! Don't stop me in the rain, tell me falsely what I can afford, and then whine when I don't fill out your little forms. Yes, whine.

What? C'moooon, no saving babies?
[My shrug says "Guess not"]
No saving babies???? (Said as if I just killed and ate a live puppy in front of her. And now I'm done. No means no.)
-- Nope! No saving babies. They'll be fine!

I was nice to you, and I even told you to walk with me so I could hear what you were about. I could have blown you off. So don't put on that pathetic face and make me feel like some sort of horrible alien motherlord baby-eater. People can only have so many issues. They can only help with so many things. If I gave money to every organization and homeless person who asked, I'd be poorer than they are. I sponsored a friend on his AIDS run. I donated to an animal shelter. I climbed down a bridge and almost killed myself on slick rocks to save a baby duck separated from its mother and stranded on a rock in a swift current. (Some thanks I got for that. The mommy duck tried to peck out my eyes.) So maybe that's not a lot, and I'm certainly not gloating... the point is people do what they can when they can, and if they can't, they can't. It's not that we don't want to help babies. It's not that we like seeing kids in Impoverished Country of the Moment fighting to survive. But I'd like you to know, [Who cares], that copping a childish attitude with people who don't give you money is mroe assuredly not the way to encourage us to look to Children International for possible future contributions.

But here they are: Children International Help out if you can.