Riddle me this, fatman.
FedEx tried to deliver something to my house, but it requires a signature and, like most of us, I have a job. So they leave a note saying they'll come back the next day at around the same time. You are smart, FedEx. Obviously since I'm not home on Wednesday at 9:30, there will be a good chance I'm home Thursday at 9:30 and if not, I should change my plans to make sure I am. Whatever, so I called the number to tell them "Ok, listen, stop trying I'll come get it myself."
So they took it off the truck and I can pick it up today in Brooklyn. Yes, Brooklyn, because there can't possibly be 1,000 more convenient FedEx locations in the city, 3 of which are within 10 blocks of my home. Fine, that's not how it works, I accept it. (For those of you just joining us, I live and work in Manhattan and have only been to Brooklyn one time in April.)
Today, I wanted to confirm the Brooklyn address because I have no idea how that place works, and so I went to the FedEx site and could find no trace of a location at the address I had been given over the phone. But whatever, I didn't care. All the locations I found said they were open until 8:00 or 9:00 in the evening, so I had plenty of time to figure things out if I got to 100 Morgan St. to find a Starbucks or a hobo or nothing.
But then I got paranoid and called anyway "just to confirm". The guy on the phone was clearly new at the job because he was really into reading his rehearsed lines, which amused me. He was nice. Anyway, 100 Morgan St. does indeed exist and he said my package is there waiting for me and I can pick it up today if I want and they're open until 5:00 and that thank you for calling FedEx and that I should have a great day.
5:00? What in the hell kind of retarded system is this??? (That was the riddle by the way, it took me a while to get to it.)
99% of everyone works during business hours during the week. That means 99% of everyone won't be home to get their stupid packages from maybe 8-6. So FedEx's brilliant solution is to bring them to a place that's only open 8-5. Logic (y'know, that thing you use your brain for) should, in my not-too-outrageous ideal universe, dictate the monumental retardedness of this arrangement especially considering that there are lots of locations open after people get off work that don't require them to go to stinky Brooklyn.
Thanks, FedEx, for going the extra mile to make my shipping experience both efficient and enjoyable. I can't wait to take time out my Saturday to trek to Brooklyn to get a package that as far as you know could be super important top secret government documents that I absolutely need but will not have by 5:00 tonight and now who's gonna save America from the evil that is coming? I hope you're proud.
are you sure they are open on saturdays? The advantage of living in a small town like bloomington is that even though you still have to go all the way across town to get a package, the ups people let you just hang out in their big loading depot and while they are looking for your stuff you can look at all the dell and zappos packages and phantasize about just taking them and running away...
ReplyDeleteWell, if you were working for the government, you would have the package delivered to your office where your secretary would sign for it.
ReplyDeleteSince you don't have an office or a secretary, you are part of the demographic that FedEx calls "too poor to care about."
I suggest you use a better delivery system in the future. USPS is usually far better for residential customers.
My experience exactly. Bastard bureaucrats. I had no option in choosing Fedex - that was the sender's choice. And I do not know who the sender is because FedEx tells me, as far as it knows, the company's name is 'Computer'.
ReplyDelete'Computer'.
had very similar incident from Fedup!ex. They probably Have a Brooklyn operation 'cause they are too cash poor to buy more manhattan space (Gotta make the Kinko's thing work). BTW, Sold my Fedex stock when I saw their Greed showin'. Also I handle shipping ops for a small company and will only ship Fedex if a customer needs it that way. One reason is that the Fedex Ship software is too darn complicated...UPS has 'em over a barrel! Plus what kind of Corporation has all kinds of different color logos, I come from a graphics background, makes me cringe!
ReplyDeleteI just had the pleasure of finding out the same information from FedEx. After speaking with a couple surly representatives I learned something even more counter-intuitive. After I told them to hold it at the Morgan location on Friday (I also live in Manhattan and have a job), they tried to redeliver it today (Tuesday) and will try again tomorrow - after which they will hold it again which might just give me time to pick it up on Saturday, just maybe.
ReplyDeleteWhile this alone makes no sense, the rep told me I could "sign the doortag and they would leave it on the doorstep". In Manhattan? Really, I could do that? Assoles.
Damn! This is happening to me RIGHT NOW. Even worse, I'm sitting at home waiting for their sorry asses. Of course I have somewhere to be at 2PM and they will not get here by then, so I, too, will have to take the god forsaken L train to the exquisitely inconvenient location (not just Brooklyn, but L train Brooklyn). BALLS.
ReplyDeleteSame thing happened to me! I live in Brooklyn and work in the Bronx during the day. I received my second notice from FedEx and called the same day to ask for a Saturday delivery. The next day I get a 3rd and final notice so I called FedEx to confirm that they were still going to deliver on Saturday since I had requested this before their 3rd attempt. I was told by the rep that the package would be delivered on Saturday since I had called before the 3rd attempt. It's Saturday morning now and I just called FedEx to confirm they were going to deliver today...they told me it was at the pick-up station and that I would have to pick it up. Now, I go online to look-up Morgan Street pick-up station and see from you that it doesn't even exist!
ReplyDeleteMy two thousand dollar guitar reached the Brooklyn FedEx on Thursday. It has been "on the truck for delivery" since Friday at 6AM according to the website. It is now noon on Wednesday. I keep callig them and they keep telling me things like "oh, the shipping label fell off, we'll try again tomorrow". Then this morning I called and they said "Hmm we don't see that package anywhere. I'll call you if we find it." :( I have a show to play on Saturday and I was specifically hoping to have this guitar by then...if ever. FedEx == fail.
ReplyDeleteI've found that while FedEx (and UPS) tell you that their depot is only open until 5pm, they are actually open until 8 or 9pm for package pickup. I have verified this on numerous occasions at both the UPS and FedEx depots in Maspeth, Queens (NYC).
ReplyDeleteThe FedEx pickup area in Maspeth is run efficiently and actually a pleasure to deal with.
However, the UPS pickup really really sucks. They are very inefficient and rude. I waited 3 hours once without receiving my package - this was after calling them to verify that they had the item ready for pickup.
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What's up
ReplyDeleteIt is my first time here. I just wanted to say hi!
Are you sure they are open on saturdays? The advantage of living in a small town like bloomington is that even though you still have to go all the way across town to get a package
ReplyDeleteUPS has 'em over a barrel! Plus what kind of Corporation has all kinds of different color logos, I come from a graphics background, makes me cringe!
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