BB

I'm wearing a shirt that makes me look really skinny today, but I noticed in the bathroom earlier that looking skinny in the torso only accentuates my huge fat ass. I'm like this close to being one of those emaciated vegetarian hipster boys except I eat a balanced diet and get lots of sleep, so I have a healthy face. THIS CLOSE! I could move to Williamsburg and fit right in if only my weight were more evenly distributed.

Right, this is basically in update on my quest for a muscular butt.

Updated status: Not muscular.

On the plus side, my occasional outings to the gym have left me feeling more energetic. I mean energeticer.

In other news, I've been considering lately how fun it would be to have boobs, and I'm trying to decide if the benefits of having them would override the tortures of menstruation.

I don't want to be a girl, mind you, I am firmly combortable in my masculine status (that was a pun), I just like the idea of boobs. I feel like if I had them, I could never leave the house and just lay around all day playing with them. My friend Kim used to say this about having a penis, and I totally understand where she's coming from. I have a good body for boobs. Not big ones, like maybe a B.

Anyway, that's what I've been thinking about today.