I got a reader e-mail yesterday with a picture attached.
from: t**** ******
to: fivepointsfromgryffindor at gmail dot com
date: Apr 29, 2008 2:40 PM
subject: blog reader
and fan of course!!! i found this pic while surfing the internets for some porn i have yet to see and found this pic. is it you and is that how you secretly afford to live the high brow lifestyle in nyc? jus kidding of course, but use it to your advantage freely. good luck with ur job (search) in chicago, my fav u.s. big city!!!!
Here is a link to the NSFW pic.
Dear T,
No that is fucking not me, here is how you can tell:
1. My hair has never been that lanky and gross and rooty. I recolor it frequently and blow dry it every day!
2. I do NOT have skinny pale legs!
3. That kid has no ass and I have a gigantic ass.
Lastly. My features are more aristocratic. Also, I don't kiss because it distorts my face just like how girls weren't allowed to play the flute in the 18th century because it uglied them up.
Ok, I made up the last part. Anyway, thanks for thinking of me during your porn time, but next time you want to compare me to someone, check for no butt and pasty chicken legs and non-salon-quality sprouts. Are you in New York? We should probably have sex so you know better what to look for.
Maybe that was your goal in the first place. My friend wants to know if you're a foreigner.
Regards
2H
Denial. River. Egypt.
ReplyDeleteOh hush, you know perfectly well that my legs are man-sized.
ReplyDeleteAside from the no-ass, it's easy to see how the mistake was made.
ReplyDeleteI can't get any support.
ReplyDeleteMaybe if you all spent as much time looking at me as I do....
your candid solicitations for cheap and anonymous sex are awful.
ReplyDeleteits left me feeling quite light headed.
maybe it's the gin i drank during my lunch.
either way....
whore.
xo,
WDL
I don't think it's that much of a stretch either, but you do have better legs than that dude.
ReplyDeleteLooks like you really can't get any support....not even me~ :p
ReplyDeleteMaybe not the ass and the legs, but the resemblance is there, you can't deny it.
There really is a resemblance; I'm sorry TooHotty :( However, note that you are much better looking than him. His hair just isn't pleasant and you know how much I envy your hair.
ReplyDeleteSo technically, although you are not a porn star (as far as I know), you COULD be. That's got to feel good.
ur friends r brutal, probably the first to laugh when u slip on the ice and land on ur giant ass. i am in michigan-i think still a u.s. citizen. and if you apply the 6 degrees of kevin bacon rules, we probably have had sex. i am truly honored and humbled to be a contributor to this blog....brewer
ReplyDelete