For the sake of posting SOMETHING

I've been burping up sushi breath for the past 4 hours hurry hurry kiss me you fools!

Ugh, I'm a lard mound right now.

On the plus side I spent the weekend in Boston with Claire and now I'm back and not going anywhere for a while. Furthermore, my I Don't Have AIDS Party 2008 is this Saturday at the same time as my friend's birthday and the guest list is the same so come celebrate with me!

I don't have time for this right now.

Cisco from Frisco writes:

Fucking hilarious.  I am sitting here really LOL'ng and my co-workers looking at me like I'm crazy.  It's probably because I'm fatter AND prettier than them.  Total jealousy.

But you rock it out.  Great blog.

X
Cisco

Thanks, Cisco! I bet you're not fatter OR prettier than me.

Reader E-Mail

I got a reader e-mail yesterday with a picture attached.

from: t**** ******
to: fivepointsfromgryffindor at gmail dot com
date: Apr 29, 2008 2:40 PM
subject: blog reader
and fan of course!!! i found this pic while surfing the internets for some porn i have yet to see and found this pic. is it you and is that how you secretly afford to live the high brow lifestyle in nyc? jus kidding of course, but use it to your advantage freely. good luck with ur job (search) in chicago, my fav u.s. big city!!!!

Here is a link to the NSFW pic.

Dear T,

No that is fucking not me, here is how you can tell:
1. My hair has never been that lanky and gross and rooty. I recolor it frequently and blow dry it every day!
2. I do NOT have skinny pale legs!
3. That kid has no ass and I have a gigantic ass.
Lastly. My features are more aristocratic. Also, I don't kiss because it distorts my face just like how girls weren't allowed to play the flute in the 18th century because it uglied them up.

Ok, I made up the last part. Anyway, thanks for thinking of me during your porn time, but next time you want to compare me to someone, check for no butt and pasty chicken legs and non-salon-quality sprouts. Are you in New York? We should probably have sex so you know better what to look for.

Maybe that was your goal in the first place. My friend wants to know if you're a foreigner.

Regards
2H