I officially work by the WORST SHITTIEST STARBUCKS EVER. I promise not to do this more often (reprint here stuff I've written elsewhere) but this is my Yelp review of the place:

It's official. This is the worst Starbucks ever ever ever created and I hope it BURNS in the Great Starbucks Purge of 2008.

Oh, but Rachel N.... Rachel N. has it right. I keep coming here because it is close to my work and I am lazy. Lazy lazy lazzzzy. Every time there's this long line and everyone's all "That's not my drink." "Do you have a soy mocha in there, I ordered it like 10 minutes ago!" "No, I said SKIM. SKIIIIIIM!" "No, you're swiping the card upside-down!"

There used to be a girl who liked me that worked here. She was probably the slowest and dimmest of all the employees, but at least she was infatuated with me, y'know? I'd have someone to talk to while I waited 20 hours for my drink to come. She's gone now.

But I keep coming here. I must hate myself. I must secretly want myself to die of boredom, frustration, starvation, and caffiene deficiency all at once while the missing link tries to decipher the syllables in "raspberry scone."

I don't believe in evolution anymore.

Speaking of evolution, am I crazy or is it not right that every one of these puppies looks exactly the same? Why don't crazy inbred puppies end up with hairlips and all that crap that incestuous humans get?

Be warned. They don't ship their babies.

Anyway, side note, I'm looking for a cheap notebook computer, as small and light as possible, for writing and web browsing only. It doesn't have to be powerful, but it has to be small and light, and I'm looking to spend as little as possible. Suggestions please, though I have lots coming in. No Craigslist.

Wait nevermind, I just found my answer I think. Or the Eee. Whatever it doesn't matter the point is I already have a friend figuring it out for me.