An Act of Contrition

Remember how I spent 13 hours watching the "New Year's Slay" Buffy the Vampire Slayer marathon on Logo the other day? Apparently it angered my friend Ryan that I'd watch a Buffy marathon without him even though everyone knows New Year's Day is all about sitting around the house doing nothing all by yourself. Regardless, by way of apology, I offer this poem I'm about to make up.

Sorry, Ryan : a poem after Lady Gaga

I want your snarky, I want you to grouch.
I want your butt imprinted here on my couch.
I want your 'tude.
'Tude, 'tude, 'tude,
I want your 'tude.

I want your drama, you know it should be,
Liz, Max, Veronica, Maia, you and me.
I want your 'tude.
'Tude, 'tude, 'tude,
I want your 'tude.

I want your Bud and I want us to binge,
You and me could write a bad bromance.
I want your Bud and a good weeknight binge,
You and me could write a bad bromance.

Pee-pee-ee-ee-ee
Pika, pika-pi.
Phoebe, it's all me.
I want your bromance.

I buy you wine and I feed you my food,
Because you'll call me out when I'm being rude.
I want your 'tude.
'Tude, 'tude, 'tude,
I want your 'tude.

You've got my number, you know what to say,
No matter which Housewife I act like each day.
I want your 'tude.
'Tude, 'tude, 'tude,
I want your 'tude.

You know that I want you.
You know that I need you.
I want your bad, bad bromance.

I want your Bud and I want us to binge,
You and me could write a bad bromance.
I want your Bud and a good weeknight binge,
You and me could write a bad bromance.

Pee-pee-ee-ee-ee
Pika, pika-pi.
Phoebe, it's all me.
I want your bromance.

Hot, hot, supersonic.
Come on, baby, drink your tonic.
Hot, hot, supersonic.
Come on, baby, drink your tonic.

I want your Bud, and I want us to binge.
I want your Bud, I just wanna be friends.
Je veux ton bière, et je veux boire avec te.
Je veux ton bière, I just wanna be friends!

Pee-pee-ee-ee-ee
Pika, pika-pi.
Phoebe, it's all me.
I want your bromance!