I'm pleased to announce that the Washington Post's "Idiot of the Year" award went to Laura Mallory, the Georgia mom who wants the Harry Potter books banned from school libraries because it turns children into evil Wiccans. For a time, she even argued that the books cause school violence until some people who had experienced school shootings were seriously offended.
I don't really care about Laura Mallory. She's not the first ignorant person to try to get the books off shelves, and she won't be the last. She's just the current Paris Hilton of social activism: an almost-attractive-if-it-weren't-for-that-weird-face blonde who gets lots of media attention even though nobody takes her seriously. It wouldn't be America without them.
What gets me about her isn't that she's challenging the books. I mean if you believe that witchcraft (even fictional witchcraft) is evil and corrupting to children, then that's what you believe. Fine. And way to go fighting for what she believes in even though she should just mind her own business. She's concerned for everyone's children, and even though it's for a stupid braindead reason, there's not a lot of us that can say we've gone out of our way for what we believe is the good of humanity.
What bothers me instead about her (other than her nostrils, of course) is that she's never read the books and she has no statistics to back up her corruption claims. That alone just makes her stupid, and stupidity is forgivable or at least forgettable, but this goes beyond that. I would really like to know, Laura Mallory, what right you think you have wasting our time with your little campaign if you can't be bothered to do a little research beforehand. You must have very little respect for the people on the school board who took time time out of their lives to hear your case. If you seriously thought "because I said so" would get people to do what you wanted, you're a lot worse than stupid.
So that is why this year, for the first time ever, I am giving the Rachael Ray "Bitch of the Year" Award to somebody other than Rachael Ray, who still wins silver and is detestable. Congratulations, Laura Mallory! You've made history.