It Is December 8th

Wanna hear a riddle? Ok here we go.

Q: Does anybody care how my Thanksgiving was anymore?

A: No.

Alright I will tell you. It was fine. Only people I like were there, so it was calm and quiet and nobody pissed anyone off. The End.

Then I had my high school reunion. Y'know how when you use a word too much it stops sounding real? Well that pretty much sums up that evening for me: "I'm a librarian... wait that's not a word... yes it is... is it?... what does it mean?... do I have a job?... I'm still talking out loud... I should stop... but I'm so confused." So hi everyone from the reunion! I think I'm a librarian. I'd like to thank the ONE of you that facebook-friended me afterwards. The rest of you are disappointments with terrible priorities.

That's all I have to say about that. The End.

This is the worst blog entry ever, and it's because everything is sucking right now. There is a problem in my apartment that has been a problem for over a month and the bottom line is I can never sleep through the night and if I spend another night there, I'm going to have a nervous breakdown because I pretty much did last year when the SAME DAMN THING HAPPENED. So thankfully my building manager is FINALLY getting someone on it. Unfortunately, the person she's got on it is terrible at his job, and nothing is getting fixed. I've spent the past few nights with C.C. Babcock (the bf, remember him?) and will probably impose on him a lot more because it turns out he makes me coffee in the mornings and the commute to work from his place takes half the time and if I act really miserable I get a backrub. So, um.... I guess things aren't that bad anymore but I hope he doesn't mind if I come home drunk tonight because it is karaoke night and I have to dance enthusiastically to The Rhythm Is Gonna Get You, which in my current state is not possible without chemical assistance.

Anyway that's why I am a shit writer, and it has nothing to do with lack of talent because you all know I can blog you under the water. Now go away.

To: SHS Class of 2000 / From: Inventor of Post-Its

Actually I do have something to say, and I will say it after this adorable cat video.

I'm not sure if I mentioned this, but my high school reunion is this weekend. Ten years since graduation. Everyone's all "It went by so fast!" but it didn't. I've lived in 3 states, done ALL of higher education that I will ever do, and eaten so many hamburgers that 10 years feels like a lowball estimate. Also my memories of high school are so hazy that it feels like a book I read more than 4 years of life.

I've always had a bad memory, but I do remember a couple of mean things I did. I'm not sorry. I was really creepy-stalkery to someone for a time, though, and I feel regret about that. It's one of those cringeworthy episodes that affect you physically when you remember them, and you try to will them to unhappen, but that's impossible so you sit there thinking "Holy crap, I am so embarrassed by that thing; I just know the other person thinks about what a freak/asshole/creep I was all the time!" But they totally don't and might not even remember the incident the same way. But that's not comforting because what if they do?

Anyway, I'm not telling you what happened, so I'm just going to give a blanket disclaimer to everyone in my graduating class:

Dear Stevenson High School Class of 2000: I AM NOT THE SAME PERSON I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL! ANY BAD MEMORIES YOU HAVE OF ME NO LONGER APPLY... UNLESS YOU LIKED ME IN WHICH CASE I AM EXACTLY THE SAME! ALSO I AM STILL BREAKING OUT SO PLEASE DO NOT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT MY FACE BECAUSE I ALREADY KNOW!

Ok that's all. I'm also going to assume the same is true for all of my old classmates too and that it's just another night of showing up at a bar only everybody is wearing nametags and looks vaguely familiar and possibly I slept with a few of them years ago but can't really remember what it was like, but that's basically every singles event I've ever been to so I guess I am prepared.

I Really Gotta Go!

October 4th!? Oops guys, here I am. I'm breaking radio silence to tell you all about my zit.

Just kidding, I've already told that story to like everyone on the subway. The news of the day is that Wine Store Guy and I are in a relationship on Facebook. I know that doesn't mean much these days, but I also friend-accepted his sister, who is pretty, and that's pretty much the same as tattooing his name on my face, so you know it's real. I wonder if he told her I'm Jewish.

He put up a really sexy profile pic so go look at it now before he switches it to something awful like he likes to do sometimes. Link through my profile. (If you and I aren't Facebook friends, then sorry you don't get to see him. Not everyone likes their poo on the net and also I need 500 more Facebook friends before I can officially hate myself so send me requests, thx.)

Other news of the moment is that all I do is play video games and watch 30 Rock on Netflix and never clean my apartment. Wait did I say "news", I meant "stuff that is exactly the same as it has always been."

I did buy a new computer so I can finally start editing photos and drawing shitty cartoons on my tablet to show everyone again, but I haven't really set up anything yet because it's a pain in the ass and I am lazy. (Cf. previous paragraph.)

Last of all, my High School Reunion(!!!!) is Thanksgiving weekend. I know you're all anxious to find out which strangers I went to high school with got fat, so I will fill you in later. I already know the answers. Anyway, I have to go. I cut my foot earlier, and my shoe is filling up with blood.

Just kidding, that was from Romy and Michelle. I was just practicing. Anyway I'm starting to remember why I never bother to blog anymore.