This is about my ass hygiene, so if you don't want to hear about it, you'd better just turn around

Ok, so I read this blog post, and I went to the Brondell website, and all I could think was "That the hell?"

The idea of a bidet has always been somewhat appealing because water is cleaner than paper and it seems like a fun thing to try... something different. A bidet would certainly spice up my bathroom experience but only until the novelty wore off. This Brondell thing, though, looked totally freaky! I don't want some automated robot toilet seat spraying me with water. I'm sorry, but I prefer to be responsible for cleaning my own ass. I imagined I'd press all the wrong buttons and end up totally drenched in all the wrong places (especially with the threat of getting my no-no's wet with the feminine hygiene button.)

But then I watched the video, and it totally changed my opinion. While the device is still a bit freaky, this video got me thinking of just how much cleaner I could be! As a man whose ass a focal point of a great deal of the sexual experiences I wish I were having, I take very seriously my rectal hygiene. Watch the video now.

What really convinced me were the testimonials by the older woman. The old man looks happy that he can even take a shit anymore. The young woman obviously likes it, and I appreciated her input, but the old woman really got me excited! She looks like a joyless, dried-out grump who hasn't smiled in twenty years... until she got a Brondell Swash! If it changed her life, surely it can change mine as well!

By the end of the video, I dreaded the next time I would have to use dry toilet paper! Unfortunately, that time came about two minutes ago, and let me tell you: Now that I know what I'm missing, I don't think I will be satisfied until I get a Brondell toilet seat.

Self-cleaning, heated, easy-to-install, AND refreshing! Even without using it, I can confidently recommend the Brondell Swash toilet seat for a better bathroom experience!