Mom: then keep your phone on and with you next sundayIgnoring the fact that my mother thinks I'm too good to get with anyone blue collar, I have to admit that I'm weirded out that my mother not only acknowledges, but condones that I have sex. Gay sex. In the what? In the butt.
Me: Right, because I might be out having actual fun on a Sunday night in the Bible belt.
Mom: you never know
Mom: you might hook up with a blue collar cool car mechanic
Mom: with no teeth
Me: I kinda do know.
Me: And I won't.
Mom: hahaha
Me: Yuck.
Now I knew she knew. I just always assumed she had that Mother's Denial barrier up, thinking her perfect son hadn't started fucking, especially because I barely talk about guys because I never go on dates except maybe one time and then they don't call me back because they're mean and I hate them. So we've just torn down a wall and the landscape of Berlin looks quite a bit different now.
After the above snippet, we got into a conversation about my future lifemate, who she still insists be Jewish, probably more out of Jewish Mother Tradition than any other reason.
Mom: Jewish boys are nice.All I insist is that I never use the word "lifemate" again.
Me: So are Christian boys.
Mom: i've never met one
Unrelated:
I says: I can't wait for flip-flop season... which will be short this year because I refuse to wear them in NYC.I am chic.
Keith-friend: why?
Keith-friend: people wear flip-flops there too
I says: Because steam comes out of the sewers.
Keith-friend: eww, gross
I says: I know.
I says: I'll probably never expose any skin.
Keith-friend: how cool :-)
Keith-friend: you'll get used to the squalor... it's good for you, builds up antibodies and all that
I says: I know, it'll be great! I'll be this super-soldier immune to germ warfare.
Keith-friend: either that or you'll catch something from some dirty foreigner and your ears will fall off
Keith-friend: but you could tell people "yeah, it's the new hot thing in new york, the no-ears look"
Hey, my legs don't have sores, thanks. I have beautiful (it pasty) calves! However, I am personally of the opinion that nobody looks good in shorts unless they are those sporty shorts people wear when they work out, and that's only if the guy doesn't really need to be working out. Oh, and women. Women look good in shorts sometimes.
ReplyDeleteI like men's legs, I don't like men's shorts. It's kinda weird.
I like flip-flops. They may be a faux-pas, but so are most of my fashion decisions. I just like the idea of having something really light and non-bulky on my feet that comes off real easy. I may look like a tool, but everyone gets to see my nice feet, and I get maximum comfort.
Sometimes I fall down, though. That's kinda embarassing.
But if it makes you feel better, this pair I'm wearing is on it's last leg, and I'll probably never replace them. I feel like I'm getting too old to pull off the carefree, disconnected, and somewhat dirty liberal arts college look to which going to Oberlin gave me license. Now I'm a wannabe professional. Espradilles it is!