Ok, so I'm smart, right? I mean, I never knew a lot of facts like who's who in politics and where's Oman on a map and what Catherine the Great did to get her name, but I learn to do things fast (like how I learned some French today), I can figure out computery problems, and I understand how there are different sizes of infinity and stuff, so I still get to be smart even if I don't know which president was which, right?
I have this friend who invented an electric candle that turns on and off when you blow on it. Apparently there's a better way to do it than the way he did it because apparently it also turns on and off if you scream real loud, but he knows the better way and could do it if he wanted. (Personally, I'd rather have the screaming version.)
I have another friend who's going to Harvard medical for free. And I have other friends who can sit around all day arguing about international politics while kicking my ass at Trivial Pursuit while I'm all "No, I don't know anything about France but did you see Famous It Girl's dress at That Awards Ceremony last week, I think she's had work done."
Whatever, so I've been feeling dumb lately. And by "lately" I mean the past 2 years or so, but that electric candle thing kinda topped it off. Jenga I'm a retard!
Maybe I should go back to school. I always felt smart in school, mostly because I had people telling me so. I write papers real fast, and they're super well-organized. And once in library school, I gave a project that after the colon was called "The Future of a Domain Specific Data Model" and I used big words with small meanings, so everyone was impressed because they didn't really get it even though it wasn't hard at all.
But school costs money, so maybe I'll just find some dumb people to hang around with sometimes. Then I can get my intellectual snobbery on... or at least find some kindred spirits. I'll bring a big rubber ball so we all have something fun to play with.
Ok, now everyone comment about how smart I am and be sincere because my birthday is tomorrow, and I want my present to be lots of praise and adulation.
Well, if you use the word colon and then don't make a comment about shit then you aren't all dumb.
ReplyDeleteI wished you happy birthday first. That is all you get.
ReplyDeletehappy birthday! virgos are the best. and yes, you are smart. i mean, how many composers do you know compared to the average person? and you can catalogue things. that's a highly desirable skill, right? just try to avoid talking to people who pretend that this doesn't matter.
ReplyDeletelove, c
too hotty please! of course you are smart. And just because I kick your ass at Trivial Pursuit does not mean that you are any less smart. Besides, who else can discuss the finer gossip of the entertainment industry with me? And who else can make Ducktales and those Veggie people cool? It is most certainly you my dear! Go back to school! Lets go to the same school and start over. Screw this shit! Love ya lots. And happy bday.
ReplyDelete