Insignifican't

My parents are here. I met them during lunch, and my mom mentioned again that it must be so cool to live here and be so close to all these things that are going on. Yeah, I guess it's cool... but eventually, you start to realize that there are lots of things going on, and you're not a part of any of them.

I work at a high profile place where lots of stuff happens. Between the library itself and Bryant Park, I never go a week without seeing some sort of neato cool event. Today, there was some sort of Fashion Week event going on in a tent beside the Bryant Park Cafe. People were crowding around and peeping through a little gap to see what was going on inside and who was talking, I dunno, I guess someone famous was in there or maybe just someone pretty. Maybe the people were just hungry.

Anyway, when I walked out of the library to get my morning coffee, I started to approach this area, and a photographer rushed up to me and started to put his camera to his face only to immediately lower it and spin on his heel when he realized I wasn't who he thought I was. I never thought I much resembled a model, but I'm wearing a tight black shirt today, so maybe it's because I'm skinny and have good posture and long legs and would probably make a good model were it not for the pesky rest of me.

But in that one moment, I felt totally lame. I mean, whatever, I'm not a model who cares. But this photographer was a total nobody, I mean photographers are the ones on the periphery spending their entire lives one-off from their subjects who are leading the real glamorous life.

So I didn't get an excuse me or a sorry or even an accidental shutter click, he just sorta turned around as if he imagined me and realized "Oh, it was just a trick of the light, that person with the cool pants doesn't really exist, and he's certainly not a model." And I was like "Bitch, you're not even allowed in the tent!" But I didn't say that because I was too busy feeling rejected by stardom.

Then during lunch I went to Lord and Taylor to see Sarah Jessica Parker, and apparently you have to buy something from her line to meet her, so my mom bought the Lovely gift set because she was going to anyway, and she got a little passcard to wear and we got in line. Apparently my sister and I weren't supposed to be there because we didn't buy Lovely gift sets for ourselves, so the guards were all "Stand to the side of the line so we can shorten it", which was retarded times infinity because then we were in everyone's way, but whatever, we were still going. Another guard tried to get us to leave, which wasn't going to happen so my mom was like "They're my kids, they're just waiting with me, geez" and we walked by him, and when he scowled I said "Oh get over it" and my mom was all "What's with all these crabby jerks?"

This will come as no shock, but I've found that since I moved here, being mean expressing my feelings to people makes me feel good about myself.

In conclusion, I went back to work before we got to the front of the line because it had been an hour and a half already, but I'm sure I wouldn't have been permitted to accompany my mom to see Sarah anyway. My sister look like a young kid, though, and gets overwhelmed in crowds, so I'm hoping they didn't make her wander off alone and wait at the exit because if I find out they did, I'm bombing Lord & Taylor so much you'll think it was Muslim burial ground.

So all I want to say is that I'm sick of being dissed and pushed around by one-off nobodys today. One day I'm going to be on TV and people will wait in line for 2 hours to see me at a department store, and all the guards and photographers from today are automatically banned for life times infinity and can't come and they especially can't bring their daughters to see me even if they bought my perfume because they are nobody and I bet no photographer ever mistook them for a model.