I know, right, it's been over a week so here's a rundown:
Wednesday I didn't do anything. Same with Thursday. Big surprise, right? Friday I made a friend who is very short but has weird hair and cool sunglasses and is obviously a gay man because everyone I've been friends with for the past three years except one has been that. He works a block away, so we're lunch buddies now so yesterday we were in Bryant Park watching this pair of guys who were obviously on a first date and one was cute and the other probably used a flattering picture when they met on gay.com because he was kinda gross, and the cute one was all closed and then his phone rang and he sat on it for about half an hour probably saying "I'd tell you about the bad date I'm on, but he's sitting right here."
Anyway, nobody better go see Lady in the Water because it's the worst movie in all of history. I'm about to talk about how much this movie sucks and since none of you should see it, I'm going to ruin some parts of it so if you're retarded and really love M. Night Shayamalan and haven't seen this movie and don't want it ruined, you should go away and never visit my blog again. You can't ruin a movie that already sucks.
I was totally cheering for the dog made of grass. My favorite part was when the Chinese lady yelled a lot. My other favorite part was with the monkeys made of sticks. It was also pretty cool when the girl's hair went blonde for no reason because she looked better that way.
My least favorite part was how M. Night Shayamalan cast himself as a writer. And not just any writer, but a Chosen-One-fucking-messiah writer who was working on some sort of stupid manifesto that nobody in their right mind would publish in real life but in the movie it was going to like change the world or something, don't worry, I'm not giving away the ending. Right, M I'm sure, nice wishful thinking. Why don't you keep your stupid daydreams to yourself like the rest of us, do you see me going around making movies about how I'm this totally hot kick-ass actor/superhero/astronaut with lots of friends NO because I have a sense of reality.
There wasn't even a twist at the end. It worked out just like they said it would about 45 minutes earlier. Oh, and one guy died for some reason even though his character had no consequence in the movie whatsoever, but the scene was supposed to be clever but I was like fuck off, this was only clever in Scream like 10 years ago.
And everybody knows your middle name isn't Night you pretentious fartbomb, so just drop it and go open a convenience store or something. Not because he's indian but because I really want a giant sprite right now.
No comments:
Post a Comment