Vampire romance... more like TRAMPIRE ROMANCE!

I just rekindled my two-year-old tradition of sitting out in Bryant Park during lunch and getting tan! I'm so dark right now I look like a... well still like a vampire, but maybe one who's slightly embarassed.

Anyway now I'm back at work and I'm soaking wet and smell like a slaughterhouse. I also think I'm all uneven because I was more interested in lying on my stomach and reading my book than lying on my back and getting color on that side.

Yeah, I'm totally obsessed with this book even though it's annoying and exasperating and I'm 10 years too old for it. I'm reading Twlight by Stephenie Heyer, who can't spell her own name so she decided to write a novel about a teenage girl with no distinguishing characteristics except vague bouts with depression--that is to say no distinguishing characteristics--and the vampire boy she loves, played by Cedric Diggory in the upcoming movie.

Anyway it's awful because the girl is essentially in lo--well let me just copy/paste the comment I left on my friend's blog because i know you all care SO MUCH what I think about this book you'll never read. I encourage you to skip it.

I find it really exasperating that Bella lets Edward treat her like he does. He gives her nothing but cryptic non-answers and then gets mad at her when she doesn't do exactly what he wants, and she just sits there taking it like some idiot girl who cares about a boy more than her own self-respect. Essentially she's staying with him for being "pretty" and "mysterious", and we have enough vapid teenage girls in the world who already ascribe to this sentiment that we don't need Stephenie Meyer encouraging them.

He also lashes out at her for his own faults. If he's really SO dangerous and cares about her SO much, he's being incredibly selfish by imposing himself on her all the time, yet when he gets tempted to eat her or whatever it is, somehow it's her fault for not leaving him alone? I don't THINK so, buddy.

I also have a problem with the fact that he is drawn to her unpredictability. Of COURSE he finds her unpredictable. She's the only person he can't read. He's never had to PREDICT anybody's actions. So it's not that she's especially unique (because she's not), it's just that he doesn't have the usual early warning system telling him what to expect.

BLAH so it annoys me. Maybe I'm too old for the book. BUT, considering I read over 300 pages in one sitting and have so many feelings about it, it's obviously doing something right.

My favorite part is that it's in the first person so I spend a lot of time pretending I'm gazing into Cedric Diggory's eyes and admiring Cedric Diggory's beautiful muscles and kissing Cedric Diggory's.... hm.... I'm definitely reading the rest of the series.

In conclusion, you should all read this book because it's ACTUALLY rather good even though I happen to hate everybody under the age of 21.

Not everyone in the book, I mean everyone in the world.

That is... unless that under-21er reads my illustious blog, in which case I don't hate you, but I seriously question your intelligence for enjoying a blog that a 4-year-old would scoff at. And possibly pee on. Do 4-year-olds still wet themselves?

Whoa, gotta go.... just overheard a bombshell...